Peluang untuk hidup ada,,cuma nak tak nak jer.....

*don't waste your time with tears

assalamualaikum,hye...ALHAMDULLILAH segala urusan berjalan dengan lancar,
sejak sejak ni fatin entah lah rasa hambar je life ni...tambah tambah semalam balik  matrik,untuk urusan kemas barang ..senang cerita urusan untuk keluar matrik..sebulan menghilang diri dari matrik,
bayangkan lepas tu balik semula matrik,macam pelik je,,jumpa roommates dan sahabat yg tercinta
mmg menyedihkan ,memilukan..ada masa happy..ye la da lama tak memekak,makan sama-sama
arghh i will miss them soo much
tapi ada masa tu sedih sangat....jeles tengok kwn-kwn yg pg kuliah..rasa macam diri stupid...serius down sangat tapii pada masa yg sama roommates,kwn2 yg lain..memang sokong..diorang cakap
kalau aku dapat aku dengan senang hati nya pergi..
Alhamdullilahh...tapi still lagi rse mcam hilang semangat..sejujurnya
perjalanan ftin untuk ke universiti nilai mmg dipermudahkan..
lepass parent bwk ftin balik rumah sebulann yg lalu
rse mcm arghh,,,,i dont have nothing im a loser
ada la juga beberapa hari,,sampai terfikir nak kerja...
tapi hatii nakk belajar....mula lah balik baca buku motivational book bagai..
one day,,ftin rasa haishhh tak boleh jadi ni..wake up!!!do something
so then i make research,,about everything..pasal form 6,,semua lahh website education..ftin terjah..
dgn jiran dtg rumah,,,tanya,,da keluar ke matrikk??
nenek dtg rumah  bertanya
punyalah hebat dugaan....nangiss tak payah kata,,,nak tidur je nangis..
tapi ftin cuba ambil yg positif walaupun hati ni parah kecewa
so 14 september 2015..tariikh ftin dengan sendirinya pergi jabatan pelajaran negeri,,nak mohon form 6,,waktu tu dah fikir masak2,kalau ada halangan apa2..aku nak kerjaa...ha tudiaaaaa..tekad macam tu..

sampai sana,,pengawai form 6 tu tak derr,ada mensyuarat..ha rse kecewa lagii..
ftin pun balik laaa...waktu bawak motor ,,macamm2 fikir rasa macamm hilang hala tuju..
tetapii..hati tiba -tiba tergerak nak pergi pejabat felda wilayah ,,nak tanya pasal belajar
serius dengan tak pernah jejak kaki ke situ...dengan selambanya masuk..
kebetulan ada kerani tanya ,adik nak jumpa sape?
aku pun cakap..la nak tanya pasal peluang belajar..
kerani tu..jum saya bawak awak jumpa puan zaleha
ha ha ha...cuakk ..
at last dia tanya kenapa ?nak buat pinjaman belajar ke...aku ckp tak
at last aku cerita laa semuaa
akhirnya dia cakap
awak tak tahu ke besok ada temuduga terbuka..
untuk belajar di universiti nilai under felda.
aku macammm terkedu...leganyaaaaa
rasa bersyukur..
akhirnyaa 15 september 2015
ftin telah hadir temudugaa ..dan alhamdullilah berjalan dengan lancar

pasal temuduga tuu..ftin da cerita dalam entry sebelum ni..eheeeee


to be continue tak habiss lagi ni....

keep smile...ALLAH S.WT and family will be there for youu..

the reason why??? PART 1

Assalamualaikum,,dan selamat hari raya aidiladha!!!!
semoga hari raya ini menjadi barakah untuk kita semua...Aminn!
okeylah ini untuk pengetahuan for people,,who always keep asking me...why you quit from matric,actually not. i just posponed my study for next year...ehhhh whyy???
okeylah..waktu spm...impian dan harapan fatin..memang gila2 nak masuk matrik..entah lah nak sangat..after i finished my exam...my health condition was not good...then my parent took me for medical check up but everything was good..but seriously when im was in form five,too many obstacles in our family..my father was sicked..and the worst me too..hmm just forget that..then my parent decided to go rawatan syifa(perubatan islam)..and the resulted,,when im hearing Ruqyah's surah..and i felt not comfortable...subhanallah..that time,im really depressed thinking about myself and my future...
but ALLAH knows,me..Alhamdulillah,i got flying colours result,even not straight A,but im blessed and then i was negligible to continue my study in matriculation,im so happy!ALHAMDULLILAH.
BUT....
'when you try to do your best,some dots will be sprinkled in life,
but the dots must come together to form our own stars
and shinning our  life'

yaa..the dots is obstacles
on first month my health condition was very good..but then...im always sick..i can't study too long,i can't sleep late..as you know,matriculation is fast track study so,no time to proscrastinate your work,,
but im try..sometimes i just want to cry,why i become like this..why?why?
,,but i never give up
one day,i can't stand anymore,every night something (creepy things) disturbs me..
and the worst when i wake up,,i just on my way to go out from my room,
im glad,,my roommates never know this,,
then my parent took me again to darul syifa which is in batu pahat,johor...
i skipped my class for one week,how disappointed ..im felt like i was a loser..
i just cant thinked...everyday i asked my momm
why?my life will become like this and my momm said ALLAH S.W.T love you,just only u can face it....
finally i decided,to postpone my study in matriculation...



at that time i think,if my fate will be end like this i accept..
putus harapan....
ALHAMDULILLAH i got offer letter from nilai university under felda,,and i think this is the best way for me..even im start from basements which is Diploma,its okay,
i will study in nursing..

some of my friends harsh me(for me was unrespectful,never care about my feeling,,and then consoled,through hahahaha,and changed the topic)
thank you,i know after you finish your study in matriculation,then you will continue in degree..just go...all the best
i was not good in study ,but as long as i life, i will try really hard..to achieve my dreams and make my parent proud with me
just only me can change it!!!!
they wont understand untill they experience the pain..

but i still put my worth smile on my face..

so,for those who read my blog..wish me  the best..

take care guys,
all the best on your study
put the best effort in every opportunities,that you get..
best regards from me ,fatinn

Confusing....

hye,Assalamualaikum,hmmm,
depend on my tittle CONFUSING,
I don't know what's wrong with me,but seriously I can't handling it .I am the one of matriculation student,
lately I got invoices from felda department,to attend felda interview for scholarship. Alhamdulillah,I'm so glad.,it flow well,actually I'm bit nervous,seriously this is my first time sitting in front the higher council of felda and nilai university,but I'm blessed there are not too many ppl came..hmm maybe??
On that day I just wear baju kurung moden,with tudung bawal creepy(hehe actually crepe ),I thought I already late ,but how I felt like I'm the first personn...
So..the things that they asked me,
Firstly,tell about yourself and education achievement
Bla..bla..blaa..I just told everything,from upsr untill spm
But even im really nervous I cover it with my smile..
Second question,
Here we have two course
First engineering aircraft maintenance
Second in medical
-I think medical is quite tough because I need to study nursing first,then If im well n pass in exam,practical,internship so on then I can continue in medical as a doctor lahh ..and surely it takes a long time,but the benefit is after I finish my study,I already get work..

And for engineering
Actually I don't like physics,but in my spm result my physics was more better than biology,
It's really weird,that's y,in upu,I got
Letter offer in engineering course,but I refused,and decide to continue my study in matriculation
Uhhh.back to my story
.engineering aircraft maintenance,I think was very awesome,study about aircraft,practical to achieve the license,of course if I got that license so I can access to klia easily
But for this course,more on practical,we just study the theory around two and half year,then they will transfer us,to other aircraft hangar under mas ,airsia other we don't know,
Arghhh too long I need to explain but it takes a long time also
But,I don't have any sense about time,because I love studyy and seeking knowledge very muchhh..
But
It confusinggggggggg
I need to decide on that time
As I know I need to come there for engineering course,so I don't need to think too muchh to decide this or that.
I really stuck in front them
Then a women,praised me,,
Honestly I told u,I'm very interested with u,the first time I looked at you
I know you are very talented,but I think you are bit confuse with your choice(Alhamdulillah,first impression them.about me)
So then I told them.about everything,,I from matriculation ,I told them when I'm in matriculation my health condition was not good..blablabla...
I really want to be a doctor,so maybe from there I got improvement in my study
They said..when I refer your certificate,you result is good,how your communicate and getting along with us is very well..
So then,if you are continue in nilai university under felda,
You will get scholarship,allowance every month,then after you finish your study ,you already have place in career Alhamdulillah..
Thenn at last...
On October I will continue my study in (diploma)sc medical..but I will start first in nursing..
ALLAH KNOWS ME BETTER..
.and for my matriculation ,I think my place is not there,but I miss my friends and roommates..;(

#fatin you can do this
#Bismillah